How Mama Got Her Groove Back

Having a baby is an incredible experience. The vast range of emotions are staggering, from pride and joy to fear and panic, all at the same time. And after all that pregnancy business is said and done, it's time to start figuring out where and how you fit into this new life of yours. You spend nine months as a vessel, with a body that is no longer your own, but what no one told me is that after your baby is born, you don't get to feel like yourself right away. At least, I didn't. Your body is no longer a vessel, but it's completely new and strange. At times it can be a breath of fresh air, almost a feeling of getting a new start, a freshly cleaned slate, and at other times it can be scary as hell. A completely new body with a completely new role. A stranger in a strange body.

I was fortunate that I wasn't sad. I wasn't depressed. But I felt like an outsider looking in on my life, like the me from nine months before was watching an alternate me from afar, and learning. I was blissfully happy (most of the time) with my new role as a mother, but I still didn't feel like, me. I wasn't practicing yoga. I wasn't cooking and baking. I wasn't gardening and obsessing over my fig trees. I wasn't creating. By the time we got to Oswin's half birthday I realized that these were the things that I was missing, and brought them up to Dan. We worked out a plan to slowly work these things back into our lives and schedules. He was so open, patient, and supportive of the things I needed, even well past the time that I felt he needed to be, and I'm so thankful for that. By slowly integrating the habits and passions of my pre-baby life into baby-life, I noticed an immediate difference in how I felt, about everything. I wasn't letting my identity slip away, and that was the greatest feeling of all.

Six months. It took me six months to feel like myself again, but more importantly, to know what I needed to feel like myself. And when I figured that out, everything else fell into place.

It took six months for me to feel comfortable enough in this role as a new mother to find my voice, and to realize that I could find time for the things that used to get me out of bed in the morning. I missed cooking, and yoga, and gardening, and reading...all things that once I expressed them to my husband, held a certain weight to them, giving them meaning, and allowing us to take steps to making it happen. Saying it out loud did so much to get the wheels in motion, it just took me six months to get there and realize what I wanted to do with my new and improved life.

I'm a mama, and a wife, and I'm me. You can be all that you want to be, once you figure out exactly what that is for you. In some cases, that's easier said than done. Be easy on yourself mamas, because if you give yourself the time and space to figure it out, you will. 

A la prochaine friends...

Honey  

Story time.

One of the things that Dan and I were really excited about during my pregnancy was to be able to read to our little once he or she made their grand appearance. Over the years, I had started collecting children's books, both vintage and new, from our adventures in different countries, in preparation for this moment. We have books from Berlin, Budapest, Lyon, Lisbon, Madrid, Geneva, Pisa...just to name a few. They all looked so beautiful on the shelf, with bindings in different languages, that we just couldn't wait until we could start butchering other languages, all in the spirit of knowledge for our baby. 

Enter Oswin, who had different ideas. She was, in fact, not immediately taken by the act of sitting on Mama or Papa's lap for story time. Every once in awhile she would allow us to read her a page or two from a book, if we read to her while standing or walking, but the latter can be cause for many a stubbed toe or bruised quad. It looked like we would have to wait to unveil our awesome children's literary collection, but we hoped not for too long. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, where after months of trying to get through one stinking board book before nap time, we actually did just that. Hallelujah! In fact in that sitting we read 3 board books! I was so happy I thought I might cry. Even better still is that ever since then, we get through 2-4 books before each nap, some of them short, some of them longer. We finally have a child that likes to be read to, and it's amazing. She even gets excited when she sees certain book covers, and squeals in delight. My heart bursts a bit each time.  

I'm still not sure who likes story time more though, her or me. Because truth be told, it's one of my favorite moments of the day. Yes I love the bonding, and I truly believe that children become readers on their parent's laps, but it's more than just that... 

I think kids books are brilliant. 

I really really really do. There is something so simple about them. So straightforward. And often so profound (I'm looking at you "Oh the Places You'll Go"...) within their covers. 

And it got me to thinking, how do we choose what books to read to our children? I know that reading to Oswin will help with her language development and in learning how to communicate, but at the moment she doesn't know what the books mean. And it made me realize, I choose what books to read to her based on my feelings at the moment, and what I need. Subconsciously I'm picking the books for me, and wherever I am that day. Sound silly? Maybe. But it's the truth. 

For instance, I've noticed that I've been reading "Good Night Philadelphia" and "1 2 3 Philadelphia" quite a bit over the last few weeks, and I realized that it's because I've been a bit homesick lately. The start of summer in Philadelphia means baseball games, pool time, drinks outside, and lots of festivals, and it's something that I definitely miss. But it doesn't just stop there. 

When I'm feeling the wanderlust, I find I dive into our books about places we like to travel to, like "Everybody Bonjours," a super cute kid's book about Paris. We've been talking a lot lately about planning a Paris trip (because it's been far too long), and I think that's why I've been reading Paris books to her frequently as well. The book above is also a big time favorite, "On a Vole La Tour Eiffel," which is about someone stealing the Eiffel Tower (but really it just kind of goes on a bunch of adventures...) 

I've also found that when I miss friends back home, I tend to read her books given to us by friends, because it makes me think of them. Some of our friends will forever be thought of based on Dr. Seuss characters, and I don't think that's a bad thing.  

Other psychological analysis of my book choices for Oswin lately? Well, when I've been practicing French a lot, or feel the need to up my confidence with it, I read "Les Chiffres" to Oswin, because I understand everything in it, and can actually pronounce the words correctly. (Yes I'm essentially at board book level French...) I've also noticed that if I'm having a hard day, I always read her "Oh the Places You'll Go," because that book has always really spoken to me. It is by far my favorite Dr. Seuss book, both for the illustrations and content. 

So, how about you? Do you find yourself projecting onto your children via their storytime? Am I the only one? (Please say I'm not...)

A la prochaine friends...

Honey 

You belong among the wildflowers.

We certainly had a whirlwind of a Saturday, following the awesome news that we were picked to be sling diarists for the upcoming Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Volume V: All the Love. Needless to say that after the news on Friday night I wasn't able to sleep much, what with too much anticipation and excitement for the next 6 months floating around in my head. 

{The view from Tiocan, looking out towards Geneva, Switzerland, Lac Leman and the Alps}

We had originally planned to do one of two things on Saturday: either day trip to Gstaad, Switzerland, or go for a hike in the Jura mountains, which are the mountains that we live on in the eastern part of France.

We decided that we couldn't pass up the opportunity to hit the Jura, since this was the first really nice weekend we've had over the past few weeks. We were a bit nervous though as we planned to hike to the top of the mountain, and being Oswin's first big hike, well, that's enough to make anyone nervous. 

One of biggest fears about taking a 7 1/2 month old babe on such a big hike was that she'd do really well on the ascent, we'd get to the top, sit down to enjoy a picnic lunch, and then she'd completely lose it, making the descent of an hour plus total hell. 

We began our hike from Tiocan, a trailhead that is about a 45 minute hike or 10 minute drive from our house. Since this was our first of hopefully many Jura hikes with little miss, we decided to play it safe this time and drive to Tiocan, rather than hiking. 

From Tiocan we continued on towards Reculet, which until recently was known as the highest point in the Jura. However, being that Reculet is classified by most hiking guides as a very difficult hike, we decided in the end to take a less steep route up to the top. This was also my first "real" hike since before becoming pregnant with Oswin, so this was a bit of a test hike for me to see how much rust needed to be cleared away. 

We took a long path along the mountain, and even though the scenery didn't change as much as the route to Reculet, it was incredibly peaceful. In the 2 hours that we took to get to the top, we saw all of 4 people. Being alone in nature is always a bit surreal to me. It's like being an outsider in your own world. Nature goes on without us, and to hear the world around us on this low traffic hiking path a buzz with birds, wild flowers, tall evergreens, and the like, well, it was just incredible. It doesn't matter how often we hike, I will always be astounded and humbled by nature. 

I had never taken this path before, nor had I ever been to this peak in the Jura, so I was surprised once we got to the top because it was just other worldly. First of all, you come to the top in a rather quiet matter. It just sort of happened. With a lot of other hiking paths you can tell when you're getting close, but here we found ourselves coming around a corner and in this massive field full of wild flowers, (my favorite being the wild daffodils), surrounded by several peaks. 

And we were the only ones around. 

Except for a fox. And a Chamoix. It was so quiet that I felt as if we were trespassing into some fairy world, like something straight out of "The Lord of the Rings."

We continued to walk up a peak to try to find a good look out point, as well as a place where we could sit and enjoy our small picnic lunch. To our surprise, we came across what looked like an empty chalet. To our even greater surprise, there were two people inside. The gentleman and his wife owned the chalet, which was built in 1830, and explained to us that it was the only one in the region which still maintained it's original structure. He had been working on restoring it for the last 35 years, and would we like a look inside? 

Bien sur we did. 

And it did not disappoint. 

{The Saleve Mountain and the Rhone River}

No electricity. A big fireplace. All stone and wood. Books. Candles. A long wooden table and chairs. A vase full of wild daffodils. Firewood galore. It was like stepping into a dreamy history book written by someone with really amazing taste. 

The couple were incredibly nice, and offered to let us eat our lunch inside their home, because it would be warmer for the baby. They also offered to heat up any baby food that we needed warmed up for Oswin, on their wood stove. We politely declined as we really wanted to sit outside and enjoy the views, but would they mind if we ate by their outside fire pit?  

Afternoon was fast becoming late afternoon, with the air chilling and blowing, so after about an hour we decided to head down. Oswin was still in good spirits, but we didn't want to push our luck. We thanked the couple for their hospitality, and walked away in absolute awe of the chalet, it's dreaminess, and plans to return to this unreal spot. 

Having not done a serious hike in some time, my knees tightened up a bit on the way down, so it took about an hour and a half to get back to the car at Tiocan. I didn't mind too much though, as it gave me the opportunity to pick a few wild mountain flowers to press in memory of this awesome day. 

And as for Oswin, well, it's becoming clear to us that this little girl is a nature baby. Five hours of hiking and she was a total rock star. She was wide eyed, chit chatting, and laughing the entire time, except of course, for the two times she dozed off. Was it being so close to Papa in the sling, the bouncy-ness of the hike or the wind in her face that made her so happy? I have a feeling it was all of the above. Oswin is to hiking as a five year old is to Disney World, apparently. We're hoping to continue to work in at least one big hike a month, both on our mountain and in the surrounding Alps, so we hope little girl is ready!

As for now, this Mama is going to spend today recuperating, gardening in our new-to-us french garden (more on that later), and a little cuddling with our babe. 

Bonne dimanche tout le monde!

A la prochaine friends...

Honey  

Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Volume V: All the Love

{Pic via Sakura Bloom}

Doc and I are super stoked to announce that we were both picked to be sling diarists for the upcoming Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Volume V: All the Love. 

{Collage via Sakura Bloom}

This 6 month project documents our lives babywearing and parenting, along with 16 amazing and inspiring mamas and papas. We're so honored to have been picked to be a part of this series, as we've been following along with the previous sling diaries since before Oswin was even a twinkle in our collective eyes. We've met so many supportive and amazing families through the babywearing community, and to be able to share our story along with so many amazing families is a dream come true. 

{Collage via Sakura Bloom}

My entries will be posted right here on the blog, and Dan's will be on instagram @outlawnotahero. You can follow along with us and the other sling diarists by searching the hashtag #slingdiariesallthelove on instagram, or by checking out Sakura Bloom's website or facebook page. Dan and I are so excited to continue to share our journey of expat parenthood with all of our longtime readers, and our new friends as well. 

Did you miss our Sakura Bloom sling diary auditions? Want a look see? We were asked to write on the theme of courage, and my post can be found here, while Dan's post can be found here. 

Thanks for following along with our crazy adventures all these years blog friends, you truly make blogging worthwhile for this little family of ours.

A la prochaine friends...

Honey